Perfectly Rebellious Warriors
I’ve raised two perfectly rebellious warriors.
When I told my eldest daughter I was pregnant with her sister she roared. Then she cried. We moved on to side eyed glances of despair and generally not speaking to me throughout the pregnancy. You see, she’d always wanted to be an only child. I think it suited her quiet, thoughtful demeanour.
It isn’t that she doesn’t like children, or that she is selfish. My eldest child is the most giving, nurturing soul you could imagine. Most of her school reports would draw on the fact that she instinctively advocated for anyone in need of help and support. Even yesterday, she missed her lunch slot at school because she chose to be there for someone in need of support in the girls loos instead. She loves and cares with a fierceness I adore. Speaks her mind regardless of the age of her audience and feels things deeply.
My eldest daughter is a warrior in her own right. Yet she wanted to live the warrior life solo. Instead, she was met with an equally fierce yet considerably different soul in her little sister. Who also loves and feels with all her might but in a much more forward, less thoughtful way.
Through them both I’ve learned so much. So much about myself, how to be a mother, a good mother to children who need such different traits from me in order to bring out the best in them. What will bring joy to one will leave the other weeping so it’s been an interesting journey. There are days where I feel so defeated by motherhood. Then there are others where the simplest thing will make my heart burst. Watching my youngest run to the front door to welcome her sister home and smother her in kisses will leave my ovaries rejoicing. Catching the eldest nuzzle into the hugs and smile before catching herself, Kanye style will leave me grinning ear to ear and trying to turn away and hide it before the kids see and start rolling their eyes at me for being so soft.
Similarly, the way in which they will try to argue, manipulate, rationalise and stand their ground over what they want makes me equally proud and bereft! It’s like being in a court of law at every bath time or bed time! I say all this to say I’m so proud of the warriors I’m raising. They give me a reason to be cheerful every single day. In their actions, in their sayings and in their very presence.
Tinuke Bernard
Tinuke Bernard is a mum of two and blogs over on tinukebernard.com
She is the creator of the UK Black Influencers Directory
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