On The Edge Of Growth
Lockdown started with la dolce far niente- the sweetness of doing nothing, and ended up taking me somewhere much deeper, towards growth.
In the beginning there was something novel about being stuck at home, it was a strange space of bliss suddenly having my husband home all day. We spent the time drinking coffee, eating delicious food he made, hanging out in the garden with our daughter…almost every single moment brought me cheer. We were in a happy bubble for the time being, baking banana bread and living our best lives.
But we had to leave the bubble at some point, right?
Beyond our happy bubble there was a world of pain, with everything suddenly under immense pressure and no real end in sight, how would the people ever survive this…
And then the truth of our problematic society revealed itself- the pain and agony, the injustice we’ve all been ignoring, that we now have to face on multiple levels and platforms.
And so…
I’ve found myself in a particularly low space over the last few weeks in this new overwhelming, yet boring and strange life.
I see the posts from Many Reasons To Be Cheerful each day, and though I can think of countless reasons to be grateful, I’ve been struggling with cheerfulness.
It mulls around in my head over and over…what is my reason to be cheerful today? And it’s taken me a good few weeks to come to my answer:
The opportunities for change and growth.
It’s undoubtedly hard work to take on change and allow growth out of our stuck ways, yet it is a rousing adventure to embark on. One with a rewarding end, not only for ourselves, but anyone we share our being with.
I’ve had to dive deep into my own being and face myself, to accept and love myself in a new and profound way, to be present with my toddler every hour of every day, to hold space for my husband every hour of every day, to be okay with what is…
To be okay with not being okay.
Part of this growth is also not staying in the comfort of ‘ignorance is bliss’. The time of being a slacktivist is long gone in my opinion. Just as I firmly face myself, I face the world we live in right now, and it’s time to speak up and act.
There is learning to do, and I’m here for it.
There is work to do, and I’m here for it.
I’m finding cheer and optimism standing at the edge of growth.
