Looking Forward
During lockdown there is a lot of things I've noticed.
I've noticed things that I wouldn't normally pay attention to had I been going about my business as normal. And I don't know what it is about having things to look forward to but it makes me feel like my life has a bit more purpose. You know?
Because of lockdown I have not been able to do the things that I usually look forward to doing. Like going to work, spending time with my family, seeing my friends, playing hockey. But all those things have been taken away.
I'd wake up and look out the window, knowing that I'd not got much of a reason to go outside. I brush my teeth, shower, make coffee. I sit at my desk and look out the window...again, and it's boring. Same garden, same office, same empty calendar. I had nothing to look forward to and it made me miserable.
Those things that I usually have in my calendar make me feel like my life's worth living to an extent, and without them, without all those events filling up my calendar, it's like my life has become stale.
I quickly realised that something needed to change
And that change came with a different perspective. Because I've realised it's just perspective. It's just mindset. And I say just like it's a really easy thing to do for everyone when I know it can be hard for some. But once you start. It's bloody amazing.
I wake up and I've looked forward to looking out my window and seeing if it's rained or if the sun is already out. I've looked forward to brushing my teeth and running my tongue over them to feel how smooth they are.
I've looked forward to having that cup of coffee in my favourite mug. The low rumble of kettle boiling, that satisfying 'CLICK' when it's ready, and watching the steam rise and swirl up into the air.
I've looked forward to hearing the sound of the birds first thing in the morning as they excitedly chirp and sing. I've looked forward to exploring the garden and seeing how it's changed since yesterday. The buds turning into flowers and giving the bees all the pollen they need.
I've looked forward to rainy days and hoping my feet getting cold enough so I can put that fresh fluffy pair of socks on. I've looked forward to not having to wear a bra, and staying in my PJ's all day because I know I don't have to be anywhere. I've looked forward to picking up that book I saved for holiday, only to fall asleep reading it in bed, but I still look forward to it. I've looked forward to the food shop and and trying new things because we've got more time to cook. I've looked forward to making flatbreads and getting so good at it, my partner thought they were shop bought.
I've looked forward to Friday night disco's in the kitchen, just me and my partner, home made pina coladas and my reggae spotify playlist. I've looked forward to lacing up my boots, zipping up my waterproof and patting down my coat because now I'm ready to go outside.
I've looked forward to stopping by a stream and listening to the gentle trickle of water, hearing the wind breeze through trees and rustle their leaves, watching the clouds slowly move across the sky and play hide and seek with the sun.
These things have always been there for me. I've always had things to look forward to. I just stopped seeing them. And we all have things to look forward to all the time. We just need to change perspective and pay a bit more attention.
Of course with the easing of restrictions, I'm thinking on how my life will start to change again. I'm now looking forward to going back to work (at some point) without worrying about a 2 meter rule, hugging my Mum, booking trip away, going to a family BBQ and playing hockey again. But until then I'll keep looking forward to the simple things.
Danielle Clarke
www.danielleclarkecreative.com
@danielleclarkecreative