Jumping Into Myself
One part of my story is that I was ripped from my Mother and placed into the care system. It's not something I talk about a lot, but it gave me the strength and resilience to get to where I am today. For 16 years of my life, I was brought up in a care system that didn't really care. They didn't really give a crap about anybody. I was this young black female nomad, moving from place to place on my own.
When you've been taken away from your blood family, and trying to find yourself as a young black person in the 60s, you have no identity at all. I found that quite difficult. I went to eight primary schools, lived in three different children’s homes and was fostered three times. Some of those were really horrific - I was made to sleep with dogs with one foster family. My last set of foster parents were very middle class and had seen an advert for fostering. The foster mum happened to be my English teacher and on seeing the advert had said, “We’ll have her” - like a piece of meat. When I look back at the systemic racism that was going on at the time, it was insane. I will never forget in one of the children's homes, I got slapped for sneezing without putting my hand over my mouth. It's all this kind of stuff that I was growing up with and followed me all the way through life.
I found myself by jumping into a sandpit, bounding around the court and sprinting on the track. I lived in the rural countryside for parts of my life and it was really weird living there and not seeing anybody else that looked like me. You quickly try to find something to latch onto and for me it was sport, so I really pushed myself in school. At 16 years old, I started competing for Great Britain in athletics and I made the England junior netball squad. Even though I was part of these teams, I still felt alone. Little did I know all of these experiences were fuelling this fire inside me that was about to explode later in life.
When I did athletics, there was an inner strength that came out as soon as I got on the track - I felt I could succeed at whatever I do. When I ran down the long jump runway, I tried to jump as far as I could - I was jumping to get away from my past. Now, my focus is all about moving forward. I think about the work I do now, what I have done and what I will do next. I always try to challenge myself. I've been owned by people for too long and it's only now, since I’ve jumped into myself, that I feel a lot more comfortable.
In my late teens, I moved to London where I was reunited with my Mother. I lived in Peckham at the time, and it was around the time of the Brixton riots. My last home with a foster family was a six bedroom place with five cars, everything one could want. Then I moved to a housing estate in rural Peckham. It was such a culture change. It was absolutely insane. I remember saying to my Mum, “what do you think I should do with my life?” She kind of mumbled, “I don't know. Maybe you could go be a lifeguard attendant”. Great. I could swim, but I didn't wanna get my hair wet. It takes an age to groom afro hair. My first job was a sports development officer and it was lovely. I was doing grassroots sport in the community and loved working with young people - I had found my niche.
I was still competing in sports and found a few different versions of who I really was. There was the athletics and personal version of me. I was educating myself, training because I was still in the GB squad, and was trying to find out what I wanted to do with my life. I worked in sports development for quite a long time and also, at some really great agencies, one of which was Activate UK. I remember at the interview, I was told, “you're going to be great for some of our clients Tina, infact, you can work on Channel 4 and the Nike accounts.” They were working on a football brief with Nike and I thought great, I’ve never played football and don’t know anything about it. But I’ll give it a go.
I worked on Nike’s inner city London football tournament called Scorpion Football and it was the biggest initiative that Nike had ever done in this country. I came up with the concept which was pitched to them. After the meeting, the sports marketing director said, “I'd like you to come back on your own tomorrow. You don't need to dress up, you can be casual.” I thought that was weird and had no idea what he wanted. I went back to see him and was offered a job there and then. I couldn't comprehend it even in my wildest dreams.
When I first walked into Nike’s head office I was blown away. I was pretty young at the time and given four categories to work with, one of which was tennis. I looked after the Williams sisters, so I got to know them before anybody else knew who they really were. I remember taking them to Harrods in Central London to do some shopping and I was worried about where I was going to park. There was a great doorman who helped me out and get the Williams’ inside, because I didn't have any security with me. The sisters blew a helluva lot of money in 15 minutes!
My other category was women's fitness, which I enjoyed, along with basketball and rugby. All I knew about rugby was what I’d taught as a sports development officer - touch rugby for kids. I was told I was going to the Rugby World Cup in Australia and as Nike had a new shirt for the squad, I would be responsible for managing, signing and sealing players. Before you knew it, I was packing to go for two and a half months. It was extremely scary for me especially as I had to carry the shirts in my hand luggage for the first game in Perth. I'm sure anybody who was into rugby will remember the shirts ripped on the first night!
I remember the night when Jonny Wilkinson made the winning kick and fans were chanting his name outside our hotel. I stood on the balcony with a glass of champagne watching the sea and hearing fans chant his name over and over. It was the loneliest I had felt in a while, even though I was surrounded by three Magnums of Bollinger and 7 suitcases.
Returning from the World Cup, I negotiated a deal with a local basketball player to play for the Chicago Bulls. We also came up with a 3 versus 3 basketball concept called Battlegrounds, featuring Eric Cantana in the ads. Working for Nike was a great time in my life, however I did feel as though I had lost myself in this mahoosive brand that wasn't really looking after me. There were many lessons to be learnt and I now realise what an all encompassing, amazing experience it was.
It’s been a journey in believing me and finding out who I am as a person. I’m really proud of my identity and who I’ve become now. I'm trying to give back by working with young people and have a career coaching programme called ‘Nurtured Success’ which helps young adults in the early stages of their career. If I had someone who could have mentored me when I was trying to think about the next career change, it would have really helped me. So that's one of the ways I am giving back in life.
Tina Malcolm