Festive Feeling
What will probably come as no surprise, is that the excitement and joy I felt about the Holidays heavily factored in presents. That being said, I’ve always been a deep feeler, and the soft hum of the season never felt like something I could fully grasp or convey, but it was a near buzzing, to me, a full-body experience, and is responsible for carrying the rest of my seasonal joy. I don’t know that everyone could pinpoint it, but part of the feeling is that everyone is in on it. It's a joy that's shared and there are few better feelings.
As I’ve gotten older, the specificities of what we do on Holidays matters less and less. Presents can be fun, but they no longer carry the same feverish excitement and I realize I’m left for wanting less. But the festive feeling carries on, as if unbothered by all human factors of time, age, or distance.
Sometimes I wonder if it was the myth that brought so much magic. The one that was crafted for us when we were young. But I realize that while the myth may have disappeared with it’s reindeer and sleighs in the sky, the magic still remains. So I close my eyes and I begin to find it might be in everything. The magic lingers in the cold breeze of a coming winter on my cheeks. The ritual of striking a match and lighting a candle, letting it flicker next to me while I work into the darkening afternoon. Living in the desert, I find it in the blooming of Mexican Honeysuckle and Pink Fairy Duster when I go for a morning walk, watching the sun wake up with me. It’s in the twinkling lights that greet me at my front door and cascade around every plant in my home, the craving for something warm and nourishing, the practice of crafting really beautiful and simple food. Maybe the magic isn’t in the myth at all, perhaps it’s something that is carried simply by the changing of the season and the amount we acknowledge it. What if we could feel this buoyant and light, full of excitement and brightness with more frequency? I wonder if we could, simply by tuning into the changing of every season and the feelings that it brings.
Rituals might be one way of doing that. They bring intentionality and remembrance. They carry meaning and feeling that we can feel through their engagement with our senses. Much like a seasonal meditation, where the more and more you bring your attention back to it and the way it makes you feel, the more there is to be gained from it. There are so many rituals we might already have established for this time of year, and if not, I love to come up with new ways to conjure that same feeling with intentional actions and thoughtful moments that may never repeat, but I will always hold dear. But there is an endless cycle of moments we could make rituals from throughout the whole year. Where else can you find it? Maybe it’s in the first morning that it's warm enough to eat breakfast in the sun. Maybe it’s in the first look out your kitchen window in the morning or the way it frames the sun set every eve. I’ve found it in finding fresh strawberries at the farmers market when they’re finally in season, taking a walk with leaves crunching under my feet, and in the first sip of coffee when I begin everyday. If you can’t yet find it, where else can you invite it?
Mia Krabbendam