To Us

When I was 15yrs old, I was fairly convinced I was a freak. Now that I’m 40, I realise that my so-called freakishness is actually my superpower.  

None of us were born to be homogenous - we were born to be distinct  humans within the collective corpus of humanity. We are not here to  be centrists or tow the middle line, we are here to be eccentrics  forging our own paths - crosshatching with and in and out of, each  others’ paths.  

The human body is made up of a mass of tissues, cells, skin, organs -  each one special, particular and with its own unique function and  purpose. There are no two organs that are in competition with each  other. For the body (and mind) in its entirety to work well, all of its  distinct parts need to be working at their optimum level - individually  and in tandem.  

Disease begins to fester when these individual parts are impeded (by  chronic stress, for example), when the cellular communication  channels are interfered with (environmental toxins etc), when they’re  fed the wrong ‘fuel’ or by the domino effect of one being out of  alignment, thus affecting all of the others.  

The body is an utter marvel both for its sheer magnificence ‘in sum’  and for its intricacy and fine-tuning at the microscopic level (an over swollen thumb caused by a minuscule splinter is always my go-to  reminder of quite how finely-tuned our bodies are).  

Society, like the human body, runs best when all of its parts - from tiny to great - are well-oiled and working in optimum conditions. And  to be working well, each part needs to be doing its job, its part. The  heart does not try to out-race or ‘beat’ (sorry!) the lungs, the heart  pumps blood around the body so that the lungs can do their job of  taking oxygen in and out. They are co-dependant and yet, distinct  organs.  

We humans are distinct individuals too - working within the collective ‘body’ of society and within the ecosystem as a whole. 

We thrive and function best - when we are well, happy and doing  whatever it is that is our calling or heart’s desire. In short, when we  are not impeded in ways that are intrinsic to us being fully ourselves.  

If this last year has taught us anything, then it is that tomorrow is  never a guarantee, all we ever reliably have is today and this moment.  We can never know the length of the life we have been given.  

And for what it’s worth: when you die, people won’t remember you  for what made you general or so-called ‘normal’, they’ll remember  you for what made you particular. They won’t remember your  designer sofa or how much it cost, they’ll remember the value of the  life you lived. They’ll remember your quirks and curiosities - they’ll  remember all the tiny little characteristics that make up you.  

Nobody can be a better you, than you. In our propensity to measure  ourselves up against our peers, we overlook the crucial point that we  are, in fact, innately peerless.  

We are drawn to pioneers and mavericks. But less because we want to  actually be them I suspect, and more because we respect them for just  being themselves and cracking on with doing whatever it is they want  or need to do. We admire their obsessiveness, their fastidiousness,  their focus and their apparent self-belief. Passion - wherever it is  channelled - is both energising and infectious too. 

And so… on that note and because this here person is a precocious  upstart who thinks she has something useful to say, here are my  New Year Top Tips:  

Avoid punishing schedules or resolute agendas of self-improvement -  they are doomed to fail. Follow the things that make your heart sing -  and you are destined to succeed. That’s the trick.  

Pigs fed a diet of skimmed milk, gained weight (because the enzyme  needed to digest lactose, is in the fat - hey ho). If dieting worked,  nobody would have to keep coming up with new ones. Eat well. Enjoy  it.  

Do whatever the hell it is, that you want to do with your time, with  your life. Make your own rules (and break them occasionally too).  

Everyone has a diamond worth mining for - what’s yours? 

The world wants us all to be in a state of ease, not a state of ill-fitting  dis-ease. Besides, life passes in a blink so when our eyes are open, we  might as well let in as much light and colour as possible.  

Practise gratitude. I really don’t know how the magic or science  behind this works, except that it bloody well does.  

Flip your notions of work and play - and see what happens.  

Most of the things that we implicitly accept as norms, are constructs.  The world was not made with a built-in calendar which decreed there  should be five days (or more) of gruelling/boring work, set against  two days of play (and recovery). It’s a design flaw, not a holy law.  

Be ruthless - surround yourself with good people only. Look after  them.  

Be hearty - when you love someone, show them. When you think nice  things about someone, tell them.  

Let all the other spirit’s vexations, roll off you. But remember that  everybody has a backstory, even the people you might find ignorant,  intolerable or monstrous. Everyone has taken hits and everyone takes  a shit.  

And everyone takes turns to be upwind or downwind.  

If you don’t know what to do or how to deal with a situation or a  someone, try approaching with grace. It tends to be the third way.  

When you’re caught in the paralysis of indecision or overwhelm, try  asking yourself this question: ‘what would my future self most thank  me for?’. It helps.  

Resist polarisation. Very few things in life are black or white. Even  black and white.  

Apologise for your mistakes - but never apologise for being yourself.  

Take up space, but keep your footprints small. Take your seat at the  table - but extend its length or add more chairs. 

Opinions, like arseholes, are something everyone has. When the  opinions begin to stack up and suck the oxygen from the room or ring  like tinnitus in the ears - seek out fresh air, big expanses of water or  mountains. Breathe deep. Swim away from the shore. Climb up above  the heights of manmade houses to regain perspective. Humans aren’t  visible from space.  

Respect the tides, but don’t ever be afraid to swim against them.  

Discern which boundaries to honour and which to push through.  Especially your own.  

Marvel at human invention and the ingenuity of the wheel, but  remember that progress can only motor so far before it needs to be  thrown into reverse. Knowing how to grow carrots and cabbages will  likely come to be of much more use, than designing or acquiring a  watch that receives emails.  

Soil is a good thing to be obsessed with.  

Get muddy - often. When it rains - get wet.  

Remember to pause, to rest. I have my best ideas, my best thoughts,  my clearest-sighted instincts, my surest feelings - when I’m in the  bath.  

Sleep is important. Lack of sleep is a form of torture - for a reason.  

Don’t try to keep pace with anybody except yourself - we all run at  different engine capacities.  

If you want to lie around the house all day in your pants - do it. If you  want to stride up a mountain in a flamboyant outfit - do it.  

Feel the feelings when they come. Cry when you need to cry. Channel  anger. Laugh great guttural laughs.  

Tend your patch - and your community, your near locality - look after  them. But also keep the door to your mind wide open.  

Borders are invariably human - political - constructs. Ponder that  perhaps.  

Welcome the toppling of fixed positions - especially your own. 

Aim to disarm, to diffuse.  

Holiday like a tourist in your local town/woods/coast at the joints of  the day when nobody else is around. Make it an occasion. Dress up.  Explore different streets. Look up at the buildings. Walk a different  path. Go off-piste. Look close and low.  

Walk, swim, run, ride.  

Smile at strangers. Strike up conversations.  

Listen to your gut - it’ll never fail you. Look after your teeth - and  they’ll last you.  

Be surprising - to yourself first and foremost. Keep on your toes, but  sink your heels into the soil too. Stay grounded - a good ship needs a  good anchor to sail far.  

Embrace serendipity and spontaneity. They’ll keep you sharp.  

Stay warm, stay comfortable - but don’t stagnate. Briefly freeze in an  ice cold shower. Slowly melt in a hot sauna. Seek out relief and  contrast - both will fill you with an endorphin-fuelled reminder that  you’re fully alive.  

Be various. It’ll add seasoning and spice to your life. Be mischievous,  have fun, lark around. There are only a few occasions when it’s  necessary to be serious. Don’t over-indulge them. Make light.  

Stay silly, weird and kind. Stay open.  

But most importantly, my happy won’t be your happy so you must do  what makes YOU feel happy, what makes you feel well, what makes  you feel good - it’s not a luxury, it’s a responsibility.  

To you.  

To me.  

To us.

Jemima Roberts

I doodle - draw - write for my life.
See my squiggles here: @on_the_wing_

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